I have a niece now. Since I've only been married to my current husband for two years, it's still new to me. I have a nephew as well, but they're the children of two different brothers, from two different states. I don't see them often. They're both adults now; both are millennials, but on either end of their generation.

The one thing I've found that they have in common is they both identify as having emotional issues. my niece readily admits to having had "a meltdown." I recently spoke to her a bit about it.

She went to college, leaving in her freshman year. She told me she felt like school was useless. She hasn't yet decided what to do now. She lives at home with her parents, who seem to understand, inasmuch as I listened to her dad tell us about how she had a "sort of breakdown, and she's at home now." There seems to be an unspoken, soft acknowledgement that it is what it is, it may not change, and we're OK with it. That's good, in its own way, in that they're not pushing her to "get over it, "toughen up," - "get a life."

I listened to her tell me how she doesn't know what she wants. She knows she'd like to live in the Northeast, where it's green. That's not her environment now. I listened to her discomfort in a lot of things about her life. As a mother, I have this urge to "fix" things: just ask my daughter, who admonishes me when I go into "mom mode," that it isn't necessary to try to find an answer to everything. Sometimes, it's best to just be there to listen.

I did offer something, though, since I still find it hard to stop myself. I told her that she needs to find her passion.

Some of us know who they are and what they want at a very young age. I was in a relationship with a man whose daughter knew since grade school that she wanted to work with horses. She went to school in the midwest, and followed her dream. I told her before she left for college that I admired her. I admire that drive, that knowledge, in all people who understand themselves so early in life. I think it's a rarity.

Sometimes I still tell people that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I may have mentioned this to my niece.

"Find your passion."

It makes me wonder why these younger people are having such difficulty moving into the world in one piece. What have we, as elders, as their parents, their teachers, their mentors, failed to give them?

During the time we had together, my niece told me how there were a few things she enjoyed doing, including a love of plants, and making some crafts. She expressed a wish to be able to do "one thing, really, really well." And I realize now that I missed out telling her how I disagree.

I think when you're young, that you need to follow your whims, aside from those things you're passionate about. Try everything that tickles your imagination. Staying with only one thing, if it's only for its own sake, can be deadening. It's an extension of the artificial need for perfection. Something none of us will ever be! Just one thing, done to become perfect, becomes work instead of bringing joy.

I think we, as the generation preceding, have failed our younger generations in telling them how to achieve "success" instead of finding joy and contentment. In removing the arts from their education, and teaching to the test, we've created a generation of people who will never feel as if they're "enough." Who will never feel whole, and can't content themselves unless they "succeed," whatever that means. And I don't know if any of us really know what that means.

Art in school, from an early age, teaches children to think creatively; to find alternative ways to solve a problem. Teaching to the test only informs kids of a list of facts, and how to remember them, so they can pass and move on. Art and music change our brains so that we become creative thinkers. I think this is why our lives are so artificially "black-and-white" these days. And nobody feels good about it.

I showed her this website. She said she really liked it. I don't know if she'll ever look at it again. I don't know if I would like her to read this particular blog. Part of me hopes she will, and understand how important it is to play. Make Things! Create! The unhappy ache so many of us are feeling these days would lessen if we all took a little time for ourselves to forget ourselves and do something with our hands.

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